One More Week!

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I am amazed every time a reader says to me, “I love William Porter.” or “Poor William, he deserves a happy ever after.” William Porter was written as a support character and he is the favorite of most of my readers. The runner up is Brianna Dario and her friends in Bend, Oregon.  “We want to know more about those people.”  Thank you for the feed back. Keep it coming.

Perdido Key Novel #3, There and Back focuses on William and his attempt to find happiness. One more week…..

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Three Days, the Fools Dance

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On April 1st it will be Easter and the famous Fool’s day.  On April Fool’s day in Ireland, a common practical joke was to send someone to deliver a note by way of several people who kept him going on to someone new until the last person opened the note that read “send the fool further.” In many places, these ‘fool’s errands’ would be accompanied by a verse for the recipient which said “don’t you laugh, and don’t you smile, send the gowk another mile.” A gowk is a Celtic word for cuckoo, a gullible or naive person.  It was also a day of celebration in honor of Lod, the Celtic God of humor. The people took delight in anticipating spring with fun, frivolity and foolishness – usually at the expense of their friends. There was also dancing and merry making of all sorts.

I can promise you that the note in the April newsletter is no joke however there will be some fun involved. In the next installment of The Inner Circle  I will reveal some amazing things.  I hope you have signed up so that you do not miss it.

~Lori O’Gara

What is a Marriage?

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What is marriage? Is it a wedding ceremony and a license? Is it a commitment to love honor and obey? Marriage is defined by Webster’s as the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law or by the rite by which the married status is effected, an intimate or close union. No mention of love.

Marriage existed before any government was organized. For thousands of years, people were getting married without a marriage license. Even today, there are some countries that have no governmental recognition of marriage and no legal requirements for marriage. Government endorsement is usually necessary for certain benefits, however. In American history, up to around the 1920’s, there was no such thing as a marriage license. The states invented them as a way to dictate who could and could not get married. Primarily as a way to stop white people from marrying black people. Still no mention of love.

Some people believe that a man and a woman are married in God’s eyes when they have completed some kind of formal wedding ceremony. There is an event, action, covenant, vow, or proclamation that is recognized as declaring a man and woman to be married. Love may be present, maybe not.

But does the very act of getting married constitute a true partnership? Does connecting yourself to another in the bonds of marriage mean that you are equally respected, loved or wanted?

Though many of my characters that I write choose to get married, I for one do not like what marriage has become in today’s society. It is an institution that gives people carte blanche to dictate what another person can and can’t do. I consider myself an expert on how not to be a spouse and how not to preform life as a married person. I should know I have had three failed marriages. Just as it takes two to make a marriage work it takes two to destroy one as well. I know, I have been there. Usually it plays out that one person gives up sooner in the marital timeline than the other. The vow is broken, hurt happens and loss is felt. Often a marriage dies long before the participants are willing to admit it. How many times have you known people who stayed married for the sake of the children or other reason that is not that they truly liked being together? Notice I said marriage not love.

Love is a choice. Love is a promise to cherish the other person. 

You choose to love or not. There are couples who are more devoted to each other without a marriage license than others who have been married for years. It is society that has conditioned us to believe that those who are in committed relationships but are not legally married are somehow not valid partnerships. Somehow we are taught to believe that two people can’t be devoted if they do not get married or we think maybe they don’t love each other, trust each other, or care about each other enough to get married.

Marriage as ordained by God is a spiritual connection that is grounded in faith not government. Faith in God, faith in each other and faith in your choice to be together. It is not based on the human’s faulty idea of marriage that is a contract and dictated by social norms. It is the choice and promise of commitment to that one other person that is important. Love and devotion do not require a piece of paper or even a ceremony. Ultimately, that is between the couple and God. Only God knows our true heart (1 John 3:20).

A marriage license is just a piece of paper. If there is no love there is no point.

~Lori O’Gara

(Also published on Medium.com)