I have Failed

I was laying awake the other night, which in itself is weird for me. I am one of the lucky few who have no trouble sleeping. Seriously, the house can fall down around me and I would sleep right through it. I know you hate me, right? You’re in good company.

I was thinking about all the ways I have failed the past few months. It was depressing and I was tired. I was there in the darkness, a sadness puddle feeling sorry for myself. After about an hour of my brain beating me up, I decided to look at my failures from another perspective. Yes, I failed at somethings, but as a result I succeeded at other things. Here is what I came up with…

I failed at making my teenage daughters like me. I am not the cool mom. I don’t let them run around town with their friends who drive, doing wild crazy things. They don’t get to stay home from school when they aren’t feeling it. I make them go when other parents let their friends stay home. They don’t get to eat whatever they want. Their dad and I make them try new foods at least once a week. They are moody when I ask them to spend time with each other and the rest of the family. They think I don’t know a dang thing. To hear them talk I am a terrible mother and they don’t like me or their dad right now, and that’s ok. I have succeeded in teaching them what is right. I haven’t had to get one out of jail…wait I should knock on wood or something right? They all make fantastic grades in school and they are decent people when not terrorizing each other. Everyone outside of my house tells me how great my children are, so, yeah, they can hate me for now.

I have failed at keeping in touch with all my friends, but I have succeeded in discovering real friends. I look at my social media less and less, spend less time wasting time on all of those, apps, so that was good too.

I failed to reach my publishing goal last year, but I focused on the projects that were the most gratifying and important for me to write.

I failed at being fanacially stable enough to write full time, but I have a new position where I work. I am learning new things and love what I do.

Failures are not always a negative thing. Now, if any of you know the secret to getting teenagers to stop with all the negativity and attitude, that would be a huge success to share with me right about now. I would really like to get back to sleep.

Love and Light,


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