Tired…so Tired

I am so tired. I am tired of grand events, parties, drinking Mojito’s on the beach, shopping for the perfect pair of shoes, sitting in the cafe’ writing the next big thing, watching the sunset over Key West with my girls and…oh wait that is not my life.

I go to work every day and do what I have to do. It seems that every day gets longer and rest is shorter. I am not sure what is going on with me. I am tired. Tired of fake people, back biters, drama, liars, trouble makers and bull…..yeah all of that. I am just plain tired. I am tired of a job that used to be fun now it is not. This is so not my life….oh but yeah..guess what? It is. I am tired of going nowhere fast and struggling slow. Working to an end of …..what? Retirement? I am tired now.

I want to soar. I want to get away I want to fly away…hey hey hey ……..I want the sun on my face and the wind at my back. I want a future so bright…..shades anyone? I am just tired……I am even too tired to write….ok I am never that tired. How can I write when I can hardly even think? I am never too tired to write.

Hello, is anybody out there on the edge of reason hanging on with a pinky finger that was a square once? Where are my binoculars? If I squint and strain my eyes maybe I can see the future that I have in my dreams. It is bright and blinding….I can almost see it…..it is so far out of reach…..but if I try……ahhhh….there it is, just on the other side of Get-over-it Hill…..right before You-can- do- it Lane……There it see?

That is my life…..now sit back and watch me get there. Right after a quick snooze…No….There will be no sleep. I made promises to her. That girl, that future girl. Can’t nap, not today. I have to write…write that novel, that story, you know the secret one that I want no one to read yet everyone will want to….the one I have to write before I die……yeah that one…..maybe it will be my money maker….. my dream taker….that story. I hear it in the corners of my mind whispering to be written, but I am so very very tired.

This was me in April 2009. My life looks absolutely nothing like that, not now. I am no longer tired and depressed. I did 180 in my life. Found love and changed jobs.

I am happy and oh, yeah…I wrote the story. The one that had be told. That story has now been published. It is appropriately titled,

We Will Get There

and well, I got there.

~Lori O’Gara

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