If He loves Me He Would…

My husband and I are avid gamers. Not video games, but tabletop games, yes the ones with dice, miniature characters of plastic and gasp! There are books involved!

I am always amazed when at the game store where we play or sitting around our game table with friends I hear, “I can’t stay long, my wife wants me home.” or “My wife/girlfriend hates that I game.”

My first thought was, why?

One of the quickest ways to kill a love or a relationship is to nag your significant other about where he is and what he is doing. Here is a good one, tell him his hobby is pointless. “I don’t get why you like _____.”

You love him for his uniqueness and how he spends his free time is part of who he is. You don’t have to understand why he likes it, but your relationship will be stronger if you accept him as he is. How can you get what you want which is his attention, and still respect that he has his own thing that he enjoys?

The answer is simple, go with him. Learn to golf, throw dice, catch fish or whatever.

My husband and I share the gaming hobby, so I guess we are lucky, however, I do not always want to participate. Sometimes, I would rather go do something else. Let’s say shopping. Because I love my husband, I go where he is. I do not wait for him to come to find me. I don’t sit at home fuming because he is at the game store throwing dice when I want his attention. I go to him where he is gaming, hug him, tell him I hope his game goes well. THEN, I go shopping. When I return he stops what he is doing. He is happy to see me. He missed me while I was gone.

“If he loved me he would stay home with me or do what I want.”

Really? So, the other time when he held your purse for an hour while you tried on clothes and asked if the pants made your butt look fat are the only times that he loved you?

If you are nagging him about what he is doing or worse, sitting at home ignoring him to teach him a lesson, you are not focused on love.

The truth is, love has to be the center. My need for time with him is not the center. Him doing things with me is not the center. If he loves you, he will make time for you. If you love him you will make time for him.
Someone has to go first. Why not you? Why not now?

~Lori O’Gara

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