Confession of a Fat Girl

When a wake up call gives you the shock of your life.

How I wish I looked.

I haven’t always been fat. I was slim. I was attractive. All silk and smooth. I was tall with long elegant legs and arms. I was told that I had a body like a mink. ( A compliment, I think.) Sexy and dangerous to hearts.

Then I became middle age and fat. How the hell did that happen?

I know how it happened, over time things change. I kept living my eat anything and do what I want life style. In my head, I know what happened, but for some reason, it feels like I changed overnight. I was skinny and hot then I was not.

It is like I was in a twenty-five-year or so fog. My reality was not what my brain was telling me. It was telling me, “You’re good, Girl.” When in reality I was not good.

I was eating like that young thing that burned calories without trying. I was not that girl anymore. I thought I still looked good when I looked in a mirror.

One day, I woke up. The fog cleared and I was faced with cold stark reality. I tried the latest and greatest fix all diet for a while and it worked until it got bothersome. I gave up.

I realized it is time to do things differently. I can’t blame anyone but myself. Yes, we live in a fast convenient instant gratification drive-through society, but I was the one who put the food in my mouth. Yes, my job takes a lot of daylight hours, but I am the one who sits, sits, and sits when I could be up moving.

I eat without thought or moderation. I want it when I want, and with no thought of the consequences to myself or others.

I move when I absolutely have to. If I do not want to I do not move.

The thing in my stomach that says, “Hey fat girl you have eaten enough!” is broken because of years of abuse to my gut.

My knees, hips, legs, shoulders, back, and all of my bones hurt from carrying enough weight to equal two adults.

I am done



It takes time to change things, good or bad. This is the beginning, again…I have been on this road before. I have tried diets and they worked for a bit but were not maintainable for the long hall.

This time it is no diet for me. No eat this not that shit. I am going to start feeding my soul. I will eat when I am hungry and when I am not I won’t. Once I get my crazy food intake under control then I will move on to the next thing to fix.

I had a friend tell me that to eat an elephant you have to take one bite at a time. The elephant for me is changing my lifestyle.

Here’s to the first bite.

~Lori O’Gara

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