It’s easy.

Really it is easy. I know, because I did it. I got rid of all my anxiety and most of my overthinking in a little less than a year. It is a work in progress.

First I am no doctor. I don’t even pretend to have all the answers. I can tell you from my real-world perspective and experience that no prescription will fix you. You have to fix you. I hope you can find one or two things in my story that inspires you to try something new.

The first thing I did was give up the fight for my right to have anxiety. I know that is the complete opposite of all the advice that you see every day online on all your social media feeds. Every time I look at social media I see some picture or quote that says some variation that yes I have anxiety and you should be tolerant of me and my anxiety. Then there are the ones that say you on the outside do not understand me and my anxiety.

I call Bulls**t. Tell people that they have anxiety over and over again…bombard their sub consciousness long enough with an idea and those who have the predisposition for it will develop it.

I did.

I had an external and internal influence in my life telling me I was not worth loving. I began to believe it. The emotional abuse I was living with combined with the messages I was seeing almost hourly due to my social media use brought my anxiety to the forefront of my life.

I stopped fighting.

I stopped fighting my reactions and began to look at why I was having them. Why did I freak out over certain things said to me? Why did the actions of other people make me feel unworthy? Don’t they like me? I bet they think I am crazy, ugly, fat, stupid, on and on it went. In reality, no one was thinking about me at all. The people who were thinking about me did not think about those things. I was fooling myself to think that I was not worth anyone’s love or respect.

By taking each feeling and pulling out the why of it I discovered that most of the time it was my incorrect perception that caused me to react with anxiety.

Here’s the thing, I had someone who truly loves me point out that I was allowing myself to see myself as the victim. It was an automatic response that I allowed to become a habit due to the conditioning that I had received.

I wanted to change. I did not like me that way. Anxiety, doubt and worry filled my soul.

I am no victim. I used to have a kick-ass self-esteem and I wanted it back.

I changed my self-talk.

I didn’t believe it at first. I felt like a fraud, however, I kept telling myself I am amazing. I am lovable. I am worth all the good things life has to offer. If you find yourself talking negatively about yourself and your life — stop it. Instead of thinking about your faults, focus on the positive traits you possess. I had to trust myself and others in my inner circle.

I forced myself to trust.

I didn’t trust anyone. I made my first thought to be trusting and not doubt the actions of those who love me. I learned how to take the compliments. If you’re anything like me, it’s difficult to accept praise from other people. I instantly thought, “They are wrong.” I stopped brushing it off or discounting their remarks. Instead, I give them a sincere thank you and take it to heart.

I looked at facts, not assumptions. I didn’t assume that people were out to hurt me and lie to me. I looked at facts and used logic. I amused that everyone in my life wanted what was best for me. I learned real fast who was and who was not for me.

I disengaged from all negativity.

This was a tough one. I removed all negative people from my life and my inner circle. People I cared about. Yes, even family. If I didn’t like something or if I got mad, I spoke up for myself. I didn’t just accept that I deserved the negative thing whatever it was.

I disengaged from social media. I still use it but I limit my time on it. I changed the thought process when reading it. I don’t read any negative posts. I don’t read posts that speak to my self-worth, unless it is a positive message. Even then I limit what I let my mind absorb. I wanted positively to become my automatic thought. I am in control of my reactions and thoughts.

I focused on the positive.

I looked for beauty in everything. Even if in the worst mood, taking the time to look at all the beautiful things that surround me in the world can provide an insightful way to lift my spirit. I spend as much time with people I love as I can. I wanted to be happy.

I took responsibility for my own happiness

If I am not happy, well it’s on me. If I am sad, I seek the reason and I correct it. Nothing lasts forever. There is no emotion or situation that will last forever. The good and bad in life will come and go. It is how I deal with it that makes all the difference in me.

Changing my inner self is challenging. It is never finished. I work every day to keep anxiety gone. Every day gets easier and easier the more I focus on the good in life, to manage my thoughts and emotions.

I know my process may not work for you. My hope is that you find one or two things in my experience that helps you find your own path out of the anxiety-filled darkness and into the light.

In case no one has told you today, YOU are amazing. YOU are lovable. YOU are uniquely and beautifully human.

Believe in yourself.

~Lori O’Gara