or How to Be Approachable

My friends ask me all the time why my actual phone number is posted on my Facebook page. “Aren’t you scared of hackers or scammers?” Well, yeah. I am also scared of earthquakes, snakes and over sized paper clips.

When my life imploded and I came out of the other side of the chaos, I decided to be transparent. What you see is what you get. No longer will I hide behind cute cat profile pictures and pseudonyms in my writing. I will write, work, play and live under my real identity and my real face.

Being authentic is the minority these days. With cat-fishing and cyber identities being the norm, someone choosing to be real online is weird and unsettling to most people. Being authentic means coming from a real place within yourself and showing that real person to the rest of the world. It is when your actions and words are congruent with your beliefs and values. It is being ourselves, not an imitation of what we think we should be or have been told we should be.

I found that living openly and honestly is freeing. As a writer it has made me more approachable, which has gained me, readers and friends.

If you want to know anything about me just ask. Want to know why I killed that character, why I wrote that sex scene, why I posted that picture of a casserole on Facebook, just ask. My phone number, email and Facebook profile are easy to find.

Name one person who walks the talk that comes out of their mouth. One person that when you ask them a question you get an honest answer. That is the person most of us will not ask even the simplest question for fear of the answer. “Hey does this dress make my butt look fat?” Yeah, don’t ask me that unless you are prepared to hear the truth. I want anyone to feel they can call me up and talk. I love talking books and Doctor Who, but ask me anything and you will get a true answer.

Being authentic is a rare quality. In a world full of media hype, virtual personas, and personal brands no one is content with themselves. Everyone wants what they don’t have. Learn to be happy with who you really are, with what you have and be honest about it all. Being an open book is scary, but you don’t have to work so hard putting a fake happy life out there on social media if you are really living a happy life.

Believe in the power of being real.

~Lori O’Gara