but do they mean it?

I hear and see this on social media all the time, he/she is my best friend. Sometimes they are talking about a friend they have known a long time Sometimes they are talking about a person they are involved within a romantic relationship. That person should indeed be your best friend. More often they are not.

I have had several best friends. I know it isn’t supposed to be that way. I have lost more friends than I have in my life now. No one reason that is true other than life happened, for them or for me.

There are two types of people. The ones who have a lot of friends and the one who has a small circle. I can count on one hand the people I trust, and on less than both hands, I can tell you how many true friends I have in my life. My circle is small.

Little children place a high value on the title best friend. This is the person they play with at recess, eat lunch with, chase dragons with and sail the seven seas with as a scurvy pirate. It is the most prized thing to be called someone’s BEST friend. It is when we are young that we learn the value of friendship.

Here’s my opinion. Everyone has an opinion, like smiles. Some are straight and some are crooked.

You need only one best friend. A group of friends are good for fun times and moral support in certain situations. For the big stuff, the life-changing stuff, one friend is all you need. I have found that having more than one friend in this confiding position is difficult. Humans have feelings that get in the way often. Jealousy and greed are prominent trouble makers.

The tribulations of life will cull out the friends who are not that one friend you can trust. Let fate and circumstance light a fire in your life and see who is standing in the flames with you. Better yet, when all you knew has burned up, look who is there in the ashes with you. Go through a divorce or some other major life crisis you will find out who your true friends are and who is your real best friend. Once you find that one friend hold on to them.

Let’s take that a step further. If you have vowed your life with another soul in a romantic relationship or in a marriage, that person should be your best friend. You must put them first in your life. They should be the person that you cling to, confide in and count on. If you push them aside for another person you are asking for trouble. You send a clear message to your spouse or partner that they are not important enough to have the sacred position in your heart and life. You will open a hole in your relationship or marriage that someone else could slip in and take that spot for your significant other. By not making your spouse/partner your best friend you chip away at the foundation of your marriage.

Know who your best friend is and value that best friend. Never take them for granted. Do not sacrifice your marriage or soulmate by giving someone else the privilege of being your best friend.

Believe in the value of a best friend.

~Lori O’Gara